


Hold on to Me

by Drunkonturpentine



Category: Coast to Coast - lumosinlove, Sweater Weather - Lumosinlove
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Gunshot Wounds, M/M, Major Character Injury, O'Knutzy, the injury will be in chapter 2, ysams au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drunkonturpentine/pseuds/Drunkonturpentine
Summary: Falling in love with someone in your unit is complicated enough, let alone two someones. When one of them suffers a life-threatening injury, though, everything snaps into sudden, sharp focus for Finn. But will Logan feel the same way, and will Leo make it home?An O'Knutzy "Your Stars Are My Stars" AU.
Relationships: Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay, Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay/Leo Knut, o'knutzy - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15





	Hold on to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a discord conversation about what would happen if O’Knutzy were dropped in the "Your Stars Are My Stars" universe. Planning on writing three parts for this; here is part one.
> 
> YSAMS was written by the incomparable Hazel (lumosinlove). Finn, Logan and Leo were created by her and appear in two of her wonderful fics, "Sweater Weather" and "Coast to Coast." This is just a little love letter to her brilliant characters and stories, and to the incredible SW/C2C fandom, who inspired this fic with their collective genius. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Finn met the gaze of his opponent across the rickety folding table, raised an eyebrow, and leaned back in his chair with a self-satisfied smirk. “Go fish.”

“You gonna make that joke every time we play cards?” Logan said with an eye roll, leaning forward to drop a handful of the ketchup packers they were using as makeshift poker chips onto the pile between them. His dog tags caught the sunlight streaming in through the open tent, making Finn squint. “Come on, put up or shut up.”

“You want this crusty-ass ketchup that bad, huh?” Finn teased, grinning widely now. He took a good, long look at his hand—long enough that it was obvious he wasn’t actually considering the cards at all—before pushing his share of single-serving Heinz to the middle of the table and staring Logan down, a challenge in his eyes. _All in._

Logan raised his eyebrows and shook his head once in disbelief. “Your funeral, Harzy.” He laid his cards out; Finn watched as he turned over the four, six, seven, ten, and king of spades.

Finn blew out a long breath, stretching the moment out just a little before showing his hand. “I don’t know,” he said, turning over his cards with a flourish. “That’s pretty good, but…”

He watched Logan’s expression morph from quietly pleased to confused to indignant. “You have _nothing_.”

“Yep.”

“Then why’d you go all in?”

“I felt good about it. My lucky number was in there.”

Finn bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from full-on beaming as Logan let out a frustrated groan, getting up from the table and tossing a ketchup packet at him. “You’re fucking annoying, you know that?” Logan said. “You never play for real.”

“Aw, come on, Tremzy,” Finn said as the plastic bounced off his cropped hair and onto his lap. “I thought you were bluffing!”

Logan made his way to Finn’s cot, stretching out on his back with his hands behind his head. “Bullshit,” he muttered. He closed his eyes after a few seconds, seeming to settle in. He’d been doing this since they were at basic together a year ago, falling asleep on a dime during their breaks. More often than not, he chose to do it in Finn’s bed. It made Finn’s stomach flip every single time.

Finn thought he might actually be napping now, but Logan’s voice suddenly cut through the quiet of the tent. “You just like pissing me off.”

That pulled another smile out of Finn, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he sat on the floor, his back pressed against the cot’s foldable frame. “You do make it fun,” he said. He heard Logan shift behind him before Logan playfully swatted the back of his head. There was a fire constantly simmering just under Logan’s skin; it made it easy to get a rise out of him, and Finn was always doing that, stoking the flames. Anyone who didn’t understand why had clearly never seen how hot Logan was when he got a little—or a lot—worked up. Finn was sure of that.

He’d expected the halfhearted clip to the head; what he hadn’t anticipated was for Logan’s hand to stay put, for him to push his fingers through Finn’s hair once, from nape to crown and back down again. Finn’s breath hitched and his heart sped up as he tried to keep still, not wanting to spook Logan.

“You gonna grow this back out once we’re home?” Logan murmured, flexing his fingers again and letting his blunt nails drag across Finn’s scalp. He did it idly, almost as if he didn’t realize he was doing it at all, but there was something warm and promising in his low voice that knocked Finn off-kilter.

“Maybe,” Finn managed. Logan’s fingers felt incredible, gentle and electric all at once. He wanted to close his eyes and lean into the touch. He wanted to turn around and kiss Logan until they were both dizzy with it.

They were quiet for a moment, and Finn did let his eyes slip shut, imagining what this would be like back home. Sitting on the floor of his East Village apartment, Logan sprawled on his bed, carding a hand through his hair. He was half-lost in it when Logan said, voice quiet, “You should.”

Finn blinked his eyes open. “I should what?”

“Let it grow out.”

“Why?”

“It looks good when it’s longer.” Logan’s hand stilled, then fell away. “Girls will like it.”

The words felt like a bucket of ice water over Finn’s head. Instead of brushing it off like he usually did, though, he turned his head to look at Logan. “Lo.”

They’d been dancing around it for over a year, and Finn was tired of the charade. Logan must have heard it in his voice, because he didn’t say ‘what,’ didn’t play dumb or deny anything. He just looked at Finn for a good, long moment and sighed. “Sorry.” He turned his hand over on the edge of the mattress, palm up. Finn looked from it to Logan’s face before covering it with his own. Logan’s hand was warm against his, broad and tan like the rest of him. “Sorry, I don’t...I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?” Finn pushed, voice soft but insistent. _Please don’t shut down_ , he begged silently. _Please talk to me._

He watched as Logan’s jaw worked, his mouth set in a frown and his brow creased with worry. He sat up suddenly and looked away, and Finn thought that was the end of it, disappointment like a weight on his shoulders. But then he realized Logan hadn’t let go of his hand; he tightened his grip around it, tugging until Finn was getting up to sit on the edge of the bed facing him. It broke Finn’s heart a little, seeing Logan so clearly conflicted. It hurt every time Logan put a wall up between them, but he was sure his feelings weren’t completely one-sided now, which left more room for sympathy. He didn’t know why this was so much harder for Logan than it was for him, but it was, and Finn couldn’t be angry at him for it.

He wasn’t sure Logan would answer him, but after opening and closing his mouth a few times, he finally met Finn’s eyes and said, “I don’t know how to... _let_ myself.”

Despite the ache he felt for Logan at that, Finn also felt like smiling, because _he’d said it_. Not all of it, but enough that Finn stopped holding himself back. He shifted until he was knelt between Logan’s legs, holding Logan’s face in both his hands. His heart pounded with how much he’d wanted this boy since the moment they met. “Then let me,” he said, brushing a thumb across Logan’s cheek. His hands shook with anticipation, but his voice was sure and his eyes were steady on Logan’s. “I know how. Let me, okay?”

The worry smoothed out of Logan’s face, and he looked up at Finn pleadingly, eyes open, heart open. Finn loved him so much his throat was tight with it. “Okay,” Logan whispered. “Please, Harz.”

Kissing Logan like this was better than any of the guilty, rushed, after-dark fumbling they’d done before. They gave themselves over to it completely, eyes closed, Finn’s hands cupping Logan’s jaw and Logan’s hands pushing up under Finn’s tee, palms splayed over the warm skin of his back. Finn couldn’t remember a single kiss that held a candle to this, not with anyone. Logan’s hands urged him closer and Finn went willingly, gripping Logan’s hair and crowding in until they were chest to chest.

“Lo,” Finn gasped when they finally broke for air, ducking his head to kiss a heated trail along Logan’s jaw to the shell of his ear. “God, baby,” he breathed, nipping the skin there. Logan whined—at the hint of teeth or the endearment, Finn didn’t know which—and flattened himself against the thin mattress, pulling Finn down with him.

They stopped for a moment, breathing hard and staring at each other, Logan’s thighs pressed solidly against Finn’s flanks and his head boxed in between Finn’s forearms. Logan’s lips were slick and bitten-red and when he smiled up at Finn, wide and relieved and a bit dazed, Finn heard a low, soft noise work its way out of his throat of its own accord.

Logan’s hands stroked up the length of Finn’s back, then slid back down to settle on his hips. Finn could feel them shaking slightly against his skin. “Hi,” Logan said, which had them both laughing, releasing some pent-up nervous energy. Finn pressed his forehead briefly against Logan’s. “Hi,” he replied, wondering if he’d ever stop smiling now that he knew how it felt to hold Logan like this, kiss him. Now that he knew he could. “Hey, kiss me again.”

Logan was licking his way into Finn’s mouth when the sound of a throat being cleared made them freeze. Their heads snapped toward the front of the tent, where Leo was standing and staring at them, blue eyes wide and jaw slack.

"Oh."


End file.
